3 Simple Steps to Breathe Your Way to Relaxation
Photo credit: Fabian Moller - Unsplash
So I sat down to write.
Yes, that’s it – the end of the sentence.
… Meaning I sat down to write… but I didn’t – write, that is.
… Because I didn’t know what to write about.
Usually when I write these posts I have a vague idea floating around the noggin for a couple days until I finally sit at the computer and start and finish the post in one sitting (well, at least in one day – usually there’s snack breaks involved and a few breathers to pet the Fitz because, you know, he demands a lot of attention, he literally just sits and stares at me when I’m not focusing solely on him, and – just look at him – he’s just too darn cute 😊).
So when I broke my usual M.O. today and sat down without an idea already marinating, I glanced back at my prior posts. I realized they’re usually pretty long, surprisingly philosophical (or is that surprising? I think it is, but maybe it’s not? I am a psychologist with a degree that literally has philosophy in it’s name... hmm…). The posts may even give the impression that most of my daily thoughts are philosophical and about the meaning of life and all that jazz. Sure, I think of those things, but in reality, just like I’m betting is the same for you, most of the chatter in this noggin is, well, random – flitting from one topic to the next.
What have I thought about since sitting down to write this? Well, in addition to wondering what to write and immediately nixing several ideas, here’s a few:
… why thunk isn’t a word (as in thinking, not the sound) and then “thunk” about if maybe it technically is? Which led me to dictionary.com, which confirmed it’s a word but only to describe a sound... So there’s that…
… decided I needed a snack, then decided I’d wait at least another paragraph to go get one (self-control for the win!)
… thought of a Christmas present (yay!) for my sister-in-law, and opened the website in another tab so I won’t forget about it
… realized the Husker game starts soon (GBR!)
So yes, most thoughts are like these – flitting around, sometimes productive (other times less so), but numerous none the less.
Which got me to thinking – what do we do when that stream of thoughts isn’t productive, or helpful, or focused where we want it? How do we quiet the noise?
Fortunately, there’s a lot of scientific research and evidence that going back to the basics – breathing in and breathing out – can be a game changer.
So, do you know how?
You may think “Of course, in fact I’m doing it now.” And while I’m sure (and grateful) you are, breathing is actually a bit complex if you think about it. Breathing is actually something that is both automatic (thanks brainstem 🧠!) and under our voluntary control – meaning we can change it and make it work for us.
Sometimes, especially when stressed, our breathing changes – we may take shallow quick breaths or even huge gulps of air. Why is this so important? Our breath is directly tied to other aspects of our physiology – heart rate, blood pressure, etc. – you know, all those things that you would hope would change if you were breathing hard because you’re outrunning a tiger (but let’s be honest, often times the “tiger” is just stress or too many unhelpful thoughts).
So, let’s get back to the basics here, folks…
3 simple steps to breathe your way to relaxation:
Think about it - your breath, that is. Often times we don’t and it rolls in and out unchecked. Take some breaths and notice how shallow/deep and slow/fast you’re breathing. We have to observe before we change something.
Breathe - breathe in a deep slow breath, maybe even visualizing the air moving with your breath and filling your lungs. Then slowly breathe it out – expanding longer to a pace that feels comfortable. There’s certain guided breathing exercises that tell you to count to a certain number when you’re breathing – if that works for you, then try it. Me? No thank you – it’s distracting! If I’m breathing out for 7 counts, usually around count 4 I think of how I really just want to break the rules and exhale it all now, and then I get distracted by that (I know… what a rebel, right?). Which leads me to the 3rd step…
Find what works for you. Clearly I’m not a fan of the counting – but others totally are. A relaxing breathing exercise only works if you actually find it, you know, relaxing! Some like counting, some like guided breathing exercises (apps like Calm, Headspace, and several others), and some like exercises with chimes for when to breathe or someone’s calming voice guiding them along. Breathing exercises can be long or short, simple or complex, with nearly an endless array of options. Or maybe yoga’s your thing and you practice mindful breathing there! Who knows? Try ‘em out, see what you like, and – when you find your jam – put it in your life toolbox and bring it out from time and time... or hopefully regularly – practice makes (near) perfect!
Alright, so this was (as usual) longer than intended. “Write something briefer this time,” I thought – well, so much for that!
Though it is time to wrap this up – that snack break that I was due for nearly as soon as I started writing still hasn’t happened and there’s a fluffy pup literally staring at me waiting for attention… So I think I’ll give it a go myself and, after a treat for writing another post, I think I’ll squeeze in a breathing exercise before the Husker game starts (based on this season, I’m sure I’ll need it!). Heck, maybe I’ll tackle these things together and do some mindful breathing while petting the pup. Now that sounds relaxing! 😊
